It's one of those events that you remember exactly where you were when it happened.
It's one of those events that you will tell your children and grandchildren about.
It's the event that changed the world forever.
And on the 10th anniversary of this event, I have much to be inspired by. I hear personal stories on the television of those who lost their lives and those who survived. All of these stories inspire me. However, I would like to mention one particular individual who has inspired me very much in my lifetime: my brother, Brett.
Truthfully, since we are five years apart AND opposite genders, I have had barely had a reason to bond with my brother besides on immature activities such as Halo 2 on Xbox live or over a bike ride to the park. However, in the last two years, I have become closer to my brother that I ever thought I would have and this change has given me a lot of inspiration.
Today, on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, my brother leaves for his adventure towards the country of Turkey. Some family and friends express extreme concern for him starting his adventure on this particular day, but I respect him even more for doing this because he is destroying the stereotypes that I PERSONALLY found to be untrue. Traveling to Turkey truly opened my eyes about all of these issues. Being from the conservative and judgmental Midwest, it was SO easy for me to be scared. Scared traveling on the plane, scared talking to people, scared walking in Istanbul, and scared to be an American. However, while traveling around the country, my opinions changed completely and for the better. I am no longer judging someone for how they dress or who they worship. I personally know people of all ages who say they would never involve themselves in such high-school type drama, but yet they still cannot feel completely comfortable around a Muslim.
On a side note: last night, I spent about 2 hours with two girls from my hall. As we sat in my room consuming two bags of chips (guilty pleasure), we talked about all of these issues! It was really neat to have such sophisticated (and well-supported) conversations.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday
A Day in the Life of Liz Marler
September 6th, 2011
7:15 AM Wake up, head to the Recreation center
8:15 AM Eat breakfast with Clark in Missouri Hall
8:45 AM Take a shower
9:30 AM Health class in Violette Hall
10:00 AM Out of class early :)
10:15 AM Visit to the Calculus teacher to ask a few questions
10:45 AM Work with a few students on more Calculus
11:20 AM Lunch in Missouri Hall with girls from my hall
12:00 PM Back to Dobson, got my books
12:05 PM Visited the Poster Sale on the Mall with Alex
12:30 PM Calculus class in Violette
1:30 PM Back to the room to drop off books
1:45 PM Back to the poster sale with Alex, Ben and Morgan
2:00 PM Played with puppies in the quad
2:15 PM Frisbee :)
3:30 PM Back to the dorm
4:00 PM More calculus
4:30 PM Started She's the Man with a few girls from the hall
5:15 PM Dinner
5:45 PM Back to Dobson to finish She's the Man
7:00 PM Meet the Gamma Chi's in the Student Union Building...Go Greek.....
8:00 PM Visited some friends
9:15 PM Attempted to do some homework
9:30 PM Started another movie on our hall but ended up shopping for Halloween costumes online
10:15 PM Back to the room, skyped a few people
11:00 PM Up in my roost (aka bed)
11:01 PM Started watching Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
Sometime soon after: sleepppp.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Live Simply.
Welcome to Truman State University, home of the Bulldogs!
I am all moved into my dorm room and am excited to finally be a college student. Today was my first day of classes and I had a very positive and relaxing day of classes, naps, and working out!
I have decided that my motto for this year is Love God, Serve Others, Live SImply. I was given this plaque at graduation by my second mom, Linda, and am really treasuring what it is teaching me everyday.
1) Love God. It is very easy to get caught up in things here and ignore the one who blesses me every single day. After my grandpa passed away, my grandma, who is bedridden due to a stroke on October 2nd, said that the only thing she wanted me to do the rest of my life is to KEEP THE FAITH. How powerful. My grandmother has taught me many things in my life, but this is the most important thing she has ever said to me. She continued to say that time goes by so quickly, and staying in the faith will help keep my life on track. What a B-E-A-utiful witness to me. She is my absolute role model, a constant and steady role model who has been there for me my ENTIRE LIFE. Also, it is first on the list because it is the most important. I am blessed to be on a campus with a Lutheran Student Fellowship house. It is very different from my usual church and youth group, but it is still a nice break from the college world.
Today, I chatted with a girl that I met in Turkey (on facebook). If you read a previous entry, you understand what turmoil this family is facing due to their faith. YET, they are still praising God and praying for ME and MY family. They continuously ask how I am and how my father is doing. I wish they could have a release from the prosecution they are facing in Turkey. Pray for this family and pray that they may have freedom from their turmoil.
2) Serve Others.
My life is centered around the service of others. Although I don't have a major, I know I want to serve other people for the rest of my life. I pray and hope that a major comes to me!!!
3) Live Simply.
I live in Kirksville, Missouri. 'Nough said? :)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Refuge
The most impactful part of the trip occured the other day while we were in Antakya Hatay. (this area is southern Turkey- a matter of miles from the Syrian border) I just remembered the day was Sunday--because we visited a Christian church at noon. This service was obviously very different from Trinity but it seemed like home compared to the millions of Muslims I have been consumed by this past week. This church had been founded by a pastor who was sent from Spuyh Korea. His name was Jacob and he greeted us like he had known us for years. After we greeted a few people, we settled in the backrow. The service finally informally started after a few minutes (seemed like a lot longer to me). If the fact that the service was in a different language was not enough to deter me from paying attention, there were many other distractions. The pastor's kids (two twin girls around the age of 1-2) were the Cutest things EVER and running around like they owned the place. Also, people were entering and leaving as if the service had never even started. I recognized familiar parts of the service, such as the obvious sermon and communion. There was no confession or absolution-which definitely distinguished that church from my own. After the seemingly day-long service, we were greeted by more people and invited to tea in the church owned cafe below the church. We grabbed some tea and snacks and sat down in the fenced in courtyard outside. A young girl greeted us in English and continued to talk to us in almost perfect English.
Her name was Aria and she said she had studied her English in Iran and her family (sister Yelda who was 16 and mother) were refugees from Iran. I later found out that she wa 18-my age! And she was the first person my age who I had talked to or met while in Turkey! Plus she spoke English and was SO nice. She informed us that the English service started at two with the pastor my brother had met last time he attended. His name was Bob and that's all that he went by. He had an accent that indicated to me that he was from Iowa or somewhere north in America.
We moseyed upwards the small room off the cage and Aria introduced us to her mother and dosages who were just as nice (didn't think it was possible) as their outgoing relative. While we were standing and chatting, Aria talked about how hard it was for them to be in Iran as Crhistians and why they had to leave the country as refugees. turkey is famous for taking many refugees (like from Syria) BUT the Reuters have to wait for countries to accept tem. Aria said thy had been waiting for over a year to be accepted by the US, Austrailia, or Canada. I was thinking in my head how I would love to take the three back, take them to our church, and let them enjoy sharing their faith openly. Aria mentioned how hard it was to live in Muslim heavy areas and to still be a Christian. I believe I wrote on one of my first blogs how I felt alienated from people because of mugwort but think about these girls. They already stick out for not having their heads covered...imagine f peole knew their religion. How could I be so selfish as to say that sometimes I don't have freedom of religion? I was brought to tears talking to the girls and wished I could provide more hope for them. If only they could come to Amrrica with me, live in my home, all my plans for the future would change. I would stay locally for college and change my ambitions. After only minutes with these girls, I would change my life for them.
They asked us to pray for them. Mostly for us to prettier they would be accepted by a country. So, we stood hand in hand, instant friends, in the middle of a cafe, and prayed. I have never been sO moved. Their faiths were out of this world dispute their terrible situation. I am brought to tears writing this post knowing how much I have and wishing I could give it all to them. They deserve a life like mine. Blessed with freedom, new clothes, a home, and a church. These things seem so trivial to me-things I have taken advantage of my whole life. But I finally realized all I can do is pray. And I hope you will too. But if you don't pray or believe in a religion, keep them in your thoughts. Remember situations like this when you have to clean your room or go to a family member's house. Rememberthis when you are forces to go to church. Remember how BLESSED you are and always have been-despite minor obstacles or situations.
These girls were refugees looking for refuge. Refuge they could feel comfortable in, have hope in, believe in, and feel safe in. The physical representation was definitely this small church. But overall they found refuge in God and in fellow believers. She said this church has become her family. Ah. The memories of what she said bring me to tears even days after.
God is our refuge and strength. A PRESENT help in times of trouble. We will not fear.
Her name was Aria and she said she had studied her English in Iran and her family (sister Yelda who was 16 and mother) were refugees from Iran. I later found out that she wa 18-my age! And she was the first person my age who I had talked to or met while in Turkey! Plus she spoke English and was SO nice. She informed us that the English service started at two with the pastor my brother had met last time he attended. His name was Bob and that's all that he went by. He had an accent that indicated to me that he was from Iowa or somewhere north in America.
We moseyed upwards the small room off the cage and Aria introduced us to her mother and dosages who were just as nice (didn't think it was possible) as their outgoing relative. While we were standing and chatting, Aria talked about how hard it was for them to be in Iran as Crhistians and why they had to leave the country as refugees. turkey is famous for taking many refugees (like from Syria) BUT the Reuters have to wait for countries to accept tem. Aria said thy had been waiting for over a year to be accepted by the US, Austrailia, or Canada. I was thinking in my head how I would love to take the three back, take them to our church, and let them enjoy sharing their faith openly. Aria mentioned how hard it was to live in Muslim heavy areas and to still be a Christian. I believe I wrote on one of my first blogs how I felt alienated from people because of mugwort but think about these girls. They already stick out for not having their heads covered...imagine f peole knew their religion. How could I be so selfish as to say that sometimes I don't have freedom of religion? I was brought to tears talking to the girls and wished I could provide more hope for them. If only they could come to Amrrica with me, live in my home, all my plans for the future would change. I would stay locally for college and change my ambitions. After only minutes with these girls, I would change my life for them.
They asked us to pray for them. Mostly for us to prettier they would be accepted by a country. So, we stood hand in hand, instant friends, in the middle of a cafe, and prayed. I have never been sO moved. Their faiths were out of this world dispute their terrible situation. I am brought to tears writing this post knowing how much I have and wishing I could give it all to them. They deserve a life like mine. Blessed with freedom, new clothes, a home, and a church. These things seem so trivial to me-things I have taken advantage of my whole life. But I finally realized all I can do is pray. And I hope you will too. But if you don't pray or believe in a religion, keep them in your thoughts. Remember situations like this when you have to clean your room or go to a family member's house. Rememberthis when you are forces to go to church. Remember how BLESSED you are and always have been-despite minor obstacles or situations.
These girls were refugees looking for refuge. Refuge they could feel comfortable in, have hope in, believe in, and feel safe in. The physical representation was definitely this small church. But overall they found refuge in God and in fellow believers. She said this church has become her family. Ah. The memories of what she said bring me to tears even days after.
God is our refuge and strength. A PRESENT help in times of trouble. We will not fear.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Stare
Stare
Especially when I was younger (but truthfully still relevant), I loved receiving attention. Everybody does. As my brother and I were enjoying a late Turkish tea last night, we were talking about how kids will do anything to receive attention or a response from their parents. If they are mad for example, they will slam a door shut-waiting for a response whether positive or negative. Then when there is no response, that child may slam a book onto a table, wait, cry a little bit, and become angrier with lack of response.
Regardless, everyone loves attention.
There are certain types of attention people usually don't enjoy. My example from the land of Turkey is staring.
Do you ever feel like someone is staring at you? (but when you look at them, they are not) I have. Except, every time I turn to discover if someone is looking at me, they are. And they do not turn their eyes away from me.
Staring is when someone is judging you.
Let me tell you how I have arrived at this conclusion. Staring is a form of observation. Observations, however, are sorted out in your mind instantly. They can be classified as right or wrong, good or bad, liberal or conservative, and a million other things. These classifications are imbedded into your conscience based on your background, upbringing, experiences, and your opinions based on those experiences. Therefore, every fact and observation that enters your mind via your senses is automatically sorted. It is almost impossible for a person to make an observation and objectively avoid judging.
Therefore: staring = judgement (not in all cases such as when someone is so beautiful you literally cannot turn your eyes from theirs)
Anyways, let's relate this rant to my experiences.
Today is a day of traveling. We are crossing the countryside via bus. The first bus we took from Cappadocia to Kayseri was about an hour. I sat next to my father and my brother ended up not having a seat. The bus attendant (two per public bus) came and said something to me while motioning for me to come with him. I got up out of my comfort zone to provide a seat for my brother and sat next to an elderly woman in full dress.
(as a side note, buses are organized males on one side and females on the other unless you are married)
When I walk down aisles or stand in buses, I expect stares. I am a young woman who is showing her hair, ankles, and American origin. But have you ever been stared at for an hour?
A full hour. Unbroken stare.
This woman so would have destroyed me in the staring game.
At first, stares are uncomfortable. Let me tell you that this uncomfortability does not subside after a certain amount of time. In America, when the person who is being stared back responds with a glance, that glance usually deters the staree from staring again. Not in Turkey.
Even my glances did not break that stare. It is a stare that is hard to explain however. I don't think it is state that is jealous of the fact that I have the freedom to show my hair, ankles, and individual style. It is a stare that questions my very existence for not abiding by the cultural norms. This stare is much more uncomfortable than a 'you look weird' stare.
I have felt this for every minute I have been in the public eye in Turkey. Every traveler feels like an out of place foreigner to a certain extent because they are not a part of the local community or culture and never can be no how hard they try. I have felt even more out of place than the normal foreigner. I am not oblivious enough to be the older lady from America who wears her flag fanny pack and gets away with it because she is THAT crazy American. I am one who respects and envies local culture and tradition but cannot truly fit into this foreign culture as a woman.
Luckily, this seven hour bus ride to Hatay, I am in the backrow, making my presence less noticeable (besides when I had to walk to the back of the bus...).
My brother has had an easy time in Turkey overall. If he needs directions or help, he can walk up straight to a middle aged man and chat for many minutes- making instant connections and friends. If I had been living in Turkey for a year, I cannot walk up to men (or make eye contact even) to ask for help. The women surely can help but rarely talk, especially to foreigners.
I am not necessarily a feminist but this culture makes me feel like I am. In America, there is complete freedom. I am beginning to understand our founding words and constitution more and more with every trip.
Overall, do you like attention? If so, come to Turkey. You'll receive plenty of it and more than you even want. Opposite of my personality, I just want to slip under the radar and hope no one notices me.
Until that time (a week away), I will be stared at. For hours upon hours. On planes, buses, and trams, in stores and restaurants, at mosques and historic sites.
And just for emphasis, let me say the word one more time:
STARE.
Especially when I was younger (but truthfully still relevant), I loved receiving attention. Everybody does. As my brother and I were enjoying a late Turkish tea last night, we were talking about how kids will do anything to receive attention or a response from their parents. If they are mad for example, they will slam a door shut-waiting for a response whether positive or negative. Then when there is no response, that child may slam a book onto a table, wait, cry a little bit, and become angrier with lack of response.
Regardless, everyone loves attention.
There are certain types of attention people usually don't enjoy. My example from the land of Turkey is staring.
Do you ever feel like someone is staring at you? (but when you look at them, they are not) I have. Except, every time I turn to discover if someone is looking at me, they are. And they do not turn their eyes away from me.
Staring is when someone is judging you.
Let me tell you how I have arrived at this conclusion. Staring is a form of observation. Observations, however, are sorted out in your mind instantly. They can be classified as right or wrong, good or bad, liberal or conservative, and a million other things. These classifications are imbedded into your conscience based on your background, upbringing, experiences, and your opinions based on those experiences. Therefore, every fact and observation that enters your mind via your senses is automatically sorted. It is almost impossible for a person to make an observation and objectively avoid judging.
Therefore: staring = judgement (not in all cases such as when someone is so beautiful you literally cannot turn your eyes from theirs)
Anyways, let's relate this rant to my experiences.
Today is a day of traveling. We are crossing the countryside via bus. The first bus we took from Cappadocia to Kayseri was about an hour. I sat next to my father and my brother ended up not having a seat. The bus attendant (two per public bus) came and said something to me while motioning for me to come with him. I got up out of my comfort zone to provide a seat for my brother and sat next to an elderly woman in full dress.
(as a side note, buses are organized males on one side and females on the other unless you are married)
When I walk down aisles or stand in buses, I expect stares. I am a young woman who is showing her hair, ankles, and American origin. But have you ever been stared at for an hour?
A full hour. Unbroken stare.
This woman so would have destroyed me in the staring game.
At first, stares are uncomfortable. Let me tell you that this uncomfortability does not subside after a certain amount of time. In America, when the person who is being stared back responds with a glance, that glance usually deters the staree from staring again. Not in Turkey.
Even my glances did not break that stare. It is a stare that is hard to explain however. I don't think it is state that is jealous of the fact that I have the freedom to show my hair, ankles, and individual style. It is a stare that questions my very existence for not abiding by the cultural norms. This stare is much more uncomfortable than a 'you look weird' stare.
I have felt this for every minute I have been in the public eye in Turkey. Every traveler feels like an out of place foreigner to a certain extent because they are not a part of the local community or culture and never can be no how hard they try. I have felt even more out of place than the normal foreigner. I am not oblivious enough to be the older lady from America who wears her flag fanny pack and gets away with it because she is THAT crazy American. I am one who respects and envies local culture and tradition but cannot truly fit into this foreign culture as a woman.
Luckily, this seven hour bus ride to Hatay, I am in the backrow, making my presence less noticeable (besides when I had to walk to the back of the bus...).
My brother has had an easy time in Turkey overall. If he needs directions or help, he can walk up straight to a middle aged man and chat for many minutes- making instant connections and friends. If I had been living in Turkey for a year, I cannot walk up to men (or make eye contact even) to ask for help. The women surely can help but rarely talk, especially to foreigners.
I am not necessarily a feminist but this culture makes me feel like I am. In America, there is complete freedom. I am beginning to understand our founding words and constitution more and more with every trip.
Overall, do you like attention? If so, come to Turkey. You'll receive plenty of it and more than you even want. Opposite of my personality, I just want to slip under the radar and hope no one notices me.
Until that time (a week away), I will be stared at. For hours upon hours. On planes, buses, and trams, in stores and restaurants, at mosques and historic sites.
And just for emphasis, let me say the word one more time:
STARE.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Every Step
I have found myself saying this phrase many times:
"every step provides a new view"
Turkey has been a very interesting experience for me. There have been good times and bad times and times that cannot be explained by a single word. Sometimes we will br walking all day or hiking and I begin to wonder why I should even take another step. Today especially, I have found that every addition step I took, I saw a new view or a new angle of a mosque, rock formation, or tree. Every step provides a new view.
I think this idea can be paralleled to life easily. Every additional day or step in your journey of life provides you a new outlook or view allowing you to form your own opinion based on experience...
Whether you are starting a new day in Turkey, at college or even at home, your past experiences allow you to look at that opportunity to make less mistakes or more mistakes based on your feelings of the previous events. I have had many monumental steps that allow me to take another look at life. Going to Italy and now being in Turkey has Truly widened my perspective. No, I have not seen the world. But I have expanded my world...
This is why I encourage you...whoever you may be....to take another step. It may cause you pain or discomfort or have minor side effects but in the end, that step is the medicine you need to fulfill and live a healthy life.
"every step provides a new view"
Turkey has been a very interesting experience for me. There have been good times and bad times and times that cannot be explained by a single word. Sometimes we will br walking all day or hiking and I begin to wonder why I should even take another step. Today especially, I have found that every addition step I took, I saw a new view or a new angle of a mosque, rock formation, or tree. Every step provides a new view.
I think this idea can be paralleled to life easily. Every additional day or step in your journey of life provides you a new outlook or view allowing you to form your own opinion based on experience...
Whether you are starting a new day in Turkey, at college or even at home, your past experiences allow you to look at that opportunity to make less mistakes or more mistakes based on your feelings of the previous events. I have had many monumental steps that allow me to take another look at life. Going to Italy and now being in Turkey has Truly widened my perspective. No, I have not seen the world. But I have expanded my world...
This is why I encourage you...whoever you may be....to take another step. It may cause you pain or discomfort or have minor side effects but in the end, that step is the medicine you need to fulfill and live a healthy life.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Lightening and Caves
The day has been one of traveling. Starting in Istanbul, we took a plane to a small village and wasted around two hours figuring out their city bus system :) it was a beautiful city though. On one of the rides, a mother heard my brother and I speaking English together and turned around and encouraged her small, beautiful daughter to listen for practice. In all the Turkish schools, English is required. French used to be the required language until twenty years ago or so.
Anyway, I was stared at quite heavily for my clothig choices because my ankles are showing. I cannot wait to be in the country where showing your ankles is not a taboo thing! A part of traveling is wanting to experience/fit into the culture. I know for sure that I am not fitting in, makes me feel like the loser who sits by herself at lunch in the cafeteria...
Even if I were to have the same outerwear as my Middle Eastwrn cOunterparts, I would still not fit in. My face doesn't necessarily distinguish me as an American. But I am most ibviously a foreigner and understand only 5 words, besides DVD and toilete, in Turkish...
We traveled an hour by bus to another town-Nevishir I believe. It was surprisingly modern and beautiful! We met a man at the bus stop who had a bag full of fresh fruits! He said he was in tourism for ten years and became an instant friend to my brother. My brother told him where we were going and he offered to get on the bus with us and help us determine where to get off. He later decided we should get off with him and he would drive us around to elp us find a cheap hotel. After a few stops and some sight seeing escapades (such as the fairy chimneys) we decided on a hotel that is dug out of stone. We argued for an extremely low price and received an extra bed. The man then took us to a nice meal where we insisted on buying him dinner but he refused because he needed to get home to his 51 day ol baby girl and his wife. We enjoyed the nicest meal on a roof top woth a lightening storm in the background over the mountain. As it started to rain, we moved our meal inside and enjoyed some delicious Turkish tea!
Finally we left. As I am sitting in my cave that was dug before Islamic times, I am lucky to be in the company of the two greatest men on eaRth. I am very proud of how fluent my brother ia in Turkish! He has been a lifesaver!
Anyway, I was stared at quite heavily for my clothig choices because my ankles are showing. I cannot wait to be in the country where showing your ankles is not a taboo thing! A part of traveling is wanting to experience/fit into the culture. I know for sure that I am not fitting in, makes me feel like the loser who sits by herself at lunch in the cafeteria...
Even if I were to have the same outerwear as my Middle Eastwrn cOunterparts, I would still not fit in. My face doesn't necessarily distinguish me as an American. But I am most ibviously a foreigner and understand only 5 words, besides DVD and toilete, in Turkish...
We traveled an hour by bus to another town-Nevishir I believe. It was surprisingly modern and beautiful! We met a man at the bus stop who had a bag full of fresh fruits! He said he was in tourism for ten years and became an instant friend to my brother. My brother told him where we were going and he offered to get on the bus with us and help us determine where to get off. He later decided we should get off with him and he would drive us around to elp us find a cheap hotel. After a few stops and some sight seeing escapades (such as the fairy chimneys) we decided on a hotel that is dug out of stone. We argued for an extremely low price and received an extra bed. The man then took us to a nice meal where we insisted on buying him dinner but he refused because he needed to get home to his 51 day ol baby girl and his wife. We enjoyed the nicest meal on a roof top woth a lightening storm in the background over the mountain. As it started to rain, we moved our meal inside and enjoyed some delicious Turkish tea!
Finally we left. As I am sitting in my cave that was dug before Islamic times, I am lucky to be in the company of the two greatest men on eaRth. I am very proud of how fluent my brother ia in Turkish! He has been a lifesaver!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Observations
There are many things I noticed today in Istanbul:
1) it is impossible to determine where people are from. Walking through the streets, I thought I had found a few Americans only to find out they speak French or Spanish. What I have determined is that we are some of the only Americans here. That is an exaggeration but it ia hard to find Americans.
2) the smells are either heavenly or awful. There are good smells of cooked meat and veggies. However, Turkish men smell awful and the trash on the street is common.
3) apparently I am the only one who wears zebra socks in mosques.
4) my body is so confused-by the time, smells, and food. I haven't felt great but not necessarily bad either.
5) I am tired. Good night.
1) it is impossible to determine where people are from. Walking through the streets, I thought I had found a few Americans only to find out they speak French or Spanish. What I have determined is that we are some of the only Americans here. That is an exaggeration but it ia hard to find Americans.
2) the smells are either heavenly or awful. There are good smells of cooked meat and veggies. However, Turkish men smell awful and the trash on the street is common.
3) apparently I am the only one who wears zebra socks in mosques.
4) my body is so confused-by the time, smells, and food. I haven't felt great but not necessarily bad either.
5) I am tired. Good night.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Different
With my limited traveling experience, I don't know much about anything. However, I can tell that Turkey is VERY different than my last European vacation. Upon arriving to The airport in Istanbul, my dad and I were already confused (along with other Americans) on where to go and what to do. We eventually figured out we needed to buy Visas before going through passport control. Luckily, they didn't really question us on why we were there. (even for Turks who speak English, it is hard to understand them). We finally exited and met with a man who was holding our names. He took us outside, it was hot and smelled of heat as well. We got into a shuttle and headed to our temporary abode. It turned out to be a lot more temporary than planned. Apparently he thought we were Barbara Silva (do I look like a Barbara) and family and therefore took us about 25 minutes out of the way. Eventually, I showed the driver the name and address of the hotel and we arrived! Also, Brett was waiting outside of the hotel for us!
We settled in and decided to take a 4 hour nap. When we finally woke up and got dressed (9:30), we hit the town! We took the tram across the golden horn and walked around Istanbul to the top of one (out of seven) hills. There we ate Duram (meaning wraps) that were quite delicious. Finally we walked all the way back (took about an hour). We only got lost a few time amongst our short journey.
I better get some sleep so I can be ready for the adventures that lie ahead tomorrow. (such as me wearing a burka)
We settled in and decided to take a 4 hour nap. When we finally woke up and got dressed (9:30), we hit the town! We took the tram across the golden horn and walked around Istanbul to the top of one (out of seven) hills. There we ate Duram (meaning wraps) that were quite delicious. Finally we walked all the way back (took about an hour). We only got lost a few time amongst our short journey.
I better get some sleep so I can be ready for the adventures that lie ahead tomorrow. (such as me wearing a burka)
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Turkey
Hello World,
I am on my way to Turkey and am VERY excited. Yes, I am excited to see the sights of a different land and culture. But most importantly, I am excited to see my brother who I have not seen since September 13th!
I could not ask for a better summer :)
Pray for safe travels!
BYE!
I am on my way to Turkey and am VERY excited. Yes, I am excited to see the sights of a different land and culture. But most importantly, I am excited to see my brother who I have not seen since September 13th!
I could not ask for a better summer :)
Pray for safe travels!
BYE!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Destruction
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It was interesting to talk with the families who own these homes. We heard their stories. They were surprisingly optimistic and light-hearted about the situation. I guess that's all they can do...
PRAY PRAY PRAY CONTINUOUSLY.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
IB DONE
I am finally done with the International Baccalaureate program FOREVER!
I have completed a total of 12 tests in 6 different subjects exceeding 20 hours.
I have finished the Community Action Service program requiring over 150 hours.
I have written reflections for each activity in the CAS program.
I have written an Extended Essay which resulted in around 15 pages.
I have composed three original songs with abstract papers.
I have taken the Theory of Knowledge class and written a few essays for TOK.
I have written over 10 Internal Assessment papers.
I have performed music alone for over 20 minutes.
I have undergone two rounds of English Orals and one round of Spanish Orals.
I have endured one too many all-nighters in preparation due to procrastination.
I have read over 25 books during my time in IB and spark-noted more.
I have used around 1000 notecards and 300 sticky notes.
I have done all of this plus SPS requirements to graduate high school.
I am proud to be done with the IB program. The biggest accomplishment I have ever reached. Truthfully, I did not think I would make it. But taking tasks one at a time helps complete them all in a timely manner.
Now is the waiting game. I wait for the scores of my tests. Let's hope I get an average of a 5 on all of my tests (1-7 scoring). They should come out in mid-July. Even if I don't get a 5 on each of my tests, I do not want to FAIL. For failure is my biggest fear.
I have completed a total of 12 tests in 6 different subjects exceeding 20 hours.
I have finished the Community Action Service program requiring over 150 hours.
I have written reflections for each activity in the CAS program.
I have written an Extended Essay which resulted in around 15 pages.
I have composed three original songs with abstract papers.
I have taken the Theory of Knowledge class and written a few essays for TOK.
I have written over 10 Internal Assessment papers.
I have performed music alone for over 20 minutes.
I have undergone two rounds of English Orals and one round of Spanish Orals.
I have endured one too many all-nighters in preparation due to procrastination.
I have read over 25 books during my time in IB and spark-noted more.
I have used around 1000 notecards and 300 sticky notes.
I have done all of this plus SPS requirements to graduate high school.
I am proud to be done with the IB program. The biggest accomplishment I have ever reached. Truthfully, I did not think I would make it. But taking tasks one at a time helps complete them all in a timely manner.
Now is the waiting game. I wait for the scores of my tests. Let's hope I get an average of a 5 on all of my tests (1-7 scoring). They should come out in mid-July. Even if I don't get a 5 on each of my tests, I do not want to FAIL. For failure is my biggest fear.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
High
I am not sure if any drug could give me this high.
I am high. Super duper high. Uber high. ON LIFE.
Talk about being loved. I am SO very blessed and I think I sometimes take that fact for granted. I had a crowd come through my graduation party and it showed me what a great church family, family, school, and life I have.
I am speechless. I want to say something that would represent the feelings I have but nothing is sufficient to explain my extreme gratitude.
I am thoroughly thankful for a number of people. Specifically my parents and family who set up an amazing party that was extremely successful. In addition, Stephen played me beautiful songs as usual. :)
Lastly, my BFF Courtney Tay is the light of my life and I am going to miss her so very much next year. She is a beautiful girl with an amazing heart and an adorable laugh.
My life is wonderful. It could not get better. I say that and the next day rolls around and it's better than the previous day.
HIGH ON LIFE.
I am high. Super duper high. Uber high. ON LIFE.
Talk about being loved. I am SO very blessed and I think I sometimes take that fact for granted. I had a crowd come through my graduation party and it showed me what a great church family, family, school, and life I have.
I am speechless. I want to say something that would represent the feelings I have but nothing is sufficient to explain my extreme gratitude.
I am thoroughly thankful for a number of people. Specifically my parents and family who set up an amazing party that was extremely successful. In addition, Stephen played me beautiful songs as usual. :)
Lastly, my BFF Courtney Tay is the light of my life and I am going to miss her so very much next year. She is a beautiful girl with an amazing heart and an adorable laugh.
My life is wonderful. It could not get better. I say that and the next day rolls around and it's better than the previous day.
HIGH ON LIFE.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
No Superman
Has anyone (if anyone is there) seen Scrubs, the television show?
I have to say that Scrubs is one of my favorite shows because it was introduced to me by my older sister, Marissa. In the theme song, the last line is "I'm no superman" and we always used to sing it while doing ridiculous dance motions.
I thought of this line tonight. As I was trying to recall my number one fear, I realized it was disappointing others. Most of my actions are pretty selfish in life, even though the intentions are selfless. But most of the time, I try to please others above myself. Even if this sometimes ends up hurting myself in the end.
The near end of high school is making me realize all that I have done while at Central. I have been involved in many programs, led quite a few, improved some, and enjoyed all of them. But this year, as my interests dwindled, I realized I couldn't and shouldn't do everything. I love to serve others, but what benefit is it to others if I am hurting myself in the process. I have had a very relaxing year due to my delegation of responsibilities, but I still have an underlying fear.
It's impossible to keep in contact with all of my friends. Occasionally, they will text, facebook, or call. I tend to push some aside if I am busy and never get back to them. I know I am at a busy time in my life, but if I can't keep in contact with my friends now, how will I ever when we all spread to a lot of different places?
I guess I need to come to an understanding that I, solely, cannot please everyone. And I, solely, cannot do everything. I'm NO super(wo)man.
But I want to.
Is it the thought that counts?
Maybe not...
I have to say that Scrubs is one of my favorite shows because it was introduced to me by my older sister, Marissa. In the theme song, the last line is "I'm no superman" and we always used to sing it while doing ridiculous dance motions.
I thought of this line tonight. As I was trying to recall my number one fear, I realized it was disappointing others. Most of my actions are pretty selfish in life, even though the intentions are selfless. But most of the time, I try to please others above myself. Even if this sometimes ends up hurting myself in the end.
The near end of high school is making me realize all that I have done while at Central. I have been involved in many programs, led quite a few, improved some, and enjoyed all of them. But this year, as my interests dwindled, I realized I couldn't and shouldn't do everything. I love to serve others, but what benefit is it to others if I am hurting myself in the process. I have had a very relaxing year due to my delegation of responsibilities, but I still have an underlying fear.
It's impossible to keep in contact with all of my friends. Occasionally, they will text, facebook, or call. I tend to push some aside if I am busy and never get back to them. I know I am at a busy time in my life, but if I can't keep in contact with my friends now, how will I ever when we all spread to a lot of different places?
I guess I need to come to an understanding that I, solely, cannot please everyone. And I, solely, cannot do everything. I'm NO super(wo)man.
But I want to.
Is it the thought that counts?
Maybe not...
Thursday, May 5, 2011
IB
What if I told you that tonight I was in a room with the future? No, I was not watching "Back to the Future", I was at an International Baccalaureate program banquet. I think I have been taking advantage of all the wonderful people that are fellow classmates. Each individual that stood at the front had a different story, style, dream, past, and future. It's amazing to know that next year, 110 of us will be spread in a million different places going different directions with different goals and ambitions. But we all have one thing in common.
We went to Central High School. We are bulldogs forever.
ONE ONE.
*let the emotional season of graduation time commence.*
Tomorrow: choir, senior picnic, PROM :)
I am not sure if my life could get much better.
We went to Central High School. We are bulldogs forever.
ONE ONE.
*let the emotional season of graduation time commence.*
Tomorrow: choir, senior picnic, PROM :)
I am not sure if my life could get much better.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Bulldog
It's true. I'm decided.
Truman State University, Class of 2015 :)
Bulldog for 4 more years!
This past weekend, my friend Molly and I went to Truman to visit some friends and revisit the campus. We had a wonderful experience touring the different buildings and dorms and revealing the little wonders of student life. While we were there, they were celebrating the end of the school year with a big activity on the Quad with food, snowcones, and rock climbing walls. It was fun to see college students interacting and know that I will be there next year.
Throughout all of the fun and discovery of a new campus, town, and life, we managed to experience small anxiety attacks anticipating this new life. In two short weeks, the world we have grown in and loved will be separated from us forever. We will not only be leaving our friends, but also our family, hometown, jobs, favorite restaurants and stores. As I begin to enter one of the most emotional times of my life, I am also fearful for my future. Before, I was only "fearful" in a shallow sense in the aspect that I had made no decisions on my future location. Although, I did know that I would be okay wherever I decided to attend. Now, my fear arises from reality. Who knew reality could be so scary?
I do know that all seniors are facing some degree of fear to leave and be on their own. For now, we focus on the present...which includes so many IB tests.
HELLO ALL-NIGHTER (<---one example that I'm ready for college)
Truman State University, Class of 2015 :)
Bulldog for 4 more years!
This past weekend, my friend Molly and I went to Truman to visit some friends and revisit the campus. We had a wonderful experience touring the different buildings and dorms and revealing the little wonders of student life. While we were there, they were celebrating the end of the school year with a big activity on the Quad with food, snowcones, and rock climbing walls. It was fun to see college students interacting and know that I will be there next year.
 |
| Molly Mitchell and I at my birthday party. |
Throughout all of the fun and discovery of a new campus, town, and life, we managed to experience small anxiety attacks anticipating this new life. In two short weeks, the world we have grown in and loved will be separated from us forever. We will not only be leaving our friends, but also our family, hometown, jobs, favorite restaurants and stores. As I begin to enter one of the most emotional times of my life, I am also fearful for my future. Before, I was only "fearful" in a shallow sense in the aspect that I had made no decisions on my future location. Although, I did know that I would be okay wherever I decided to attend. Now, my fear arises from reality. Who knew reality could be so scary?
I do know that all seniors are facing some degree of fear to leave and be on their own. For now, we focus on the present...which includes so many IB tests.
HELLO ALL-NIGHTER (<---one example that I'm ready for college)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
All Too Soon...
Cinderella by Stephen Curtis Chapman
"She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders
It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you
There's a ball at the [Pythian] castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...
She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away [May 6th]
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
She will be gone
Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone"
Lately, I am becoming a lot more emotional about upcoming dates, deadlines, and events. Tomorrow, I am going on a trip to Truman State with my friend Molly to hopefully decide on where I want to pursue my educational interests for the next four years. Saturday is my last STATE music contest. I have the privilege of performing in two different ensembles!
THEN IT'S MAY.
Oh, how quickly time is flying. With the following events, I also have to keep IB tests in mind:
Tuesday: FIRST IB TEST
Scholarship Banquet :)
Thursday: IB Banquet
Friday: PROM 2011
That's all I feel like talking about.
Night :)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Far Away
"A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart."Tell me how I can go a year without seeing or talking to someone but upon conversing with them, it's as if nothing has changed. Tell me how they can live hours and hours away but I still feel as close to them as my best friends. It started with a text that read: "Be ready to skype at 6 pm on Tuesday night". This text was from my friend Sam Z. who lives in Colombia, Missouri. Six pm came and went. Around 6:15, I called Sam giving the illusion of patience. He finally called me via skype from his iPhone. Unfortunately, I could not see him. (Apparently, he could see me!) Little did I know that around 15 other people were listening to the conversation.
As they took turns passing me around, they continuously made comments like, "it's great to see you", "I've missed you so much", and "cannot wait to see you again." I knew who these people were. They were my friends that I had met three years ago when I participated in a church event called Teens Encounter Christ (TEC). TEC is a three day youth conference that separates you from the pressures and stresses of the world and allows you to focus on yourself, your faith, and your relationship with God. This event changed my LIFE. Not only did I grow in faith, but I also enjoyed deep and intimate fellowship with other Christians.
My skype conversation lasted three hours and I never was short with words.
Some say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder". And although I may not believe that completely, there is something unique about long distance relationships. For example, my friend Clark from MSA is one of my best friends and he lives 3 hours away. Especially with today's technology, long distance relationships are really becoming popular. I believe these relationships are critical to your success as an individual.
Clark and I at his school dance this yearI believe that you are only as powerful and knowledgeable as your resources. Having these resources in many different places is an important component of your individual success.
Overall, thank goodness for skype. I would have never seen KURT text me or Sharon sing and dance, or Sam give me a butt shot. :)
I most certainly am in LOVE with my life!
Monday, April 25, 2011
The Lower Branch
The term "Family Tree" was coined for many different reasons.
Not only do families share resources, strengths, weaknesses, and failures together, but families are also connected by the same life-giving blood. In my family, I've always been the lower branch. Not because I'm lower than any of my siblings or cousins, but because I am the youngest kid in the generation. And until five years ago, I was the youngest in the entire family! In these past 5-6 years, my family tree has been nourished, cut down, added to, and harvested. We have experienced tough losses that have made us stronger. We gained some wonderful spouses and babies that have added joy and variety to our tree. We have experienced difficult situations (especially with my grandparents). All of these things add to the strength of each individual branch, and strength to the tree as a whole.
As my graduation is just around the corner, I can't help but think about all the graduation ceremonies I have attended. In addition to that, I have attended basketball games, choir concerts, confirmations, homecomings, high school and college graduations. All of my life, I've been looking up to see the bigger branches with many leaves of color and variety. These branches have been a great model for such an underdeveloped and young branch.
Being the youngest, however, also has some disadvantages. If you are the youngest, you'll understand this phrase which I hear so often: "that happened before you were born". Although it isn't an offensive phrase, it makes me think of all the good times my siblings and cousins had before I was born. You see, they are all within eight years of each other-with a cousin filling in almost every gap. I am five years younger than my brother. The times before I was born hardly effect me now. But, looking towards my high school graduation, I realize that a large majority of my family will not be there. The family that had attended all of my cousins' and siblings' events will not be there to experience my events.
My grandmother is in critical health condition after a stroke and heart attack. My grandpa is fighting stage four lymphoma cancer. My brother is in Turkey for a year (or two or three) teaching at the University of Ankara. My cousin Courtney and her husband live in California. My dad's mother is facing health issues that may prevent her from coming to my graduation. My dad's sister and family live near St. Louis and will not be able to make it. My cousin Kurt and his wife Arron live in Oklahoma City. My cousin Mallory and her husband Matt live in Arkansas. Even the cousins who live in town have lives of their own and jobs that require their full attention.
I feel selfish wanting my family to interrupt their lives to be with me on my special day but I also don't want to be a lone branch, separated from it's roots. I believe that in life, you are only as powerful and knowledgeable as your resources. For me, this is mainly through my family. I am blessed with the most amazing and supported family. I know God has put me in the position as the youngest for a reason. With my grandmother's condition, I have felt like the responsibility of taking care of and entertaining her is in my hands. I am the only one who is still unattached from job or spouse commitments. Despite the responsibilities of being the youngest, I wouldn't change my life at ALL. I am so very blessed to have the life I have.
Sometimes I need to be reminded of Matthew 6:34:
Not only do families share resources, strengths, weaknesses, and failures together, but families are also connected by the same life-giving blood. In my family, I've always been the lower branch. Not because I'm lower than any of my siblings or cousins, but because I am the youngest kid in the generation. And until five years ago, I was the youngest in the entire family! In these past 5-6 years, my family tree has been nourished, cut down, added to, and harvested. We have experienced tough losses that have made us stronger. We gained some wonderful spouses and babies that have added joy and variety to our tree. We have experienced difficult situations (especially with my grandparents). All of these things add to the strength of each individual branch, and strength to the tree as a whole.
As my graduation is just around the corner, I can't help but think about all the graduation ceremonies I have attended. In addition to that, I have attended basketball games, choir concerts, confirmations, homecomings, high school and college graduations. All of my life, I've been looking up to see the bigger branches with many leaves of color and variety. These branches have been a great model for such an underdeveloped and young branch.
Being the youngest, however, also has some disadvantages. If you are the youngest, you'll understand this phrase which I hear so often: "that happened before you were born". Although it isn't an offensive phrase, it makes me think of all the good times my siblings and cousins had before I was born. You see, they are all within eight years of each other-with a cousin filling in almost every gap. I am five years younger than my brother. The times before I was born hardly effect me now. But, looking towards my high school graduation, I realize that a large majority of my family will not be there. The family that had attended all of my cousins' and siblings' events will not be there to experience my events.
My grandmother is in critical health condition after a stroke and heart attack. My grandpa is fighting stage four lymphoma cancer. My brother is in Turkey for a year (or two or three) teaching at the University of Ankara. My cousin Courtney and her husband live in California. My dad's mother is facing health issues that may prevent her from coming to my graduation. My dad's sister and family live near St. Louis and will not be able to make it. My cousin Kurt and his wife Arron live in Oklahoma City. My cousin Mallory and her husband Matt live in Arkansas. Even the cousins who live in town have lives of their own and jobs that require their full attention.
I feel selfish wanting my family to interrupt their lives to be with me on my special day but I also don't want to be a lone branch, separated from it's roots. I believe that in life, you are only as powerful and knowledgeable as your resources. For me, this is mainly through my family. I am blessed with the most amazing and supported family. I know God has put me in the position as the youngest for a reason. With my grandmother's condition, I have felt like the responsibility of taking care of and entertaining her is in my hands. I am the only one who is still unattached from job or spouse commitments. Despite the responsibilities of being the youngest, I wouldn't change my life at ALL. I am so very blessed to have the life I have.
Sometimes I need to be reminded of Matthew 6:34:
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
the newest branch on the tree :)
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Alienated
Life changes quickly.
On October 2nd, 2010, my grandmother had a stroke in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, all of our lives have been changed because of it. The grandmother I used to organize shoes and jewelry with is now constricted to watching television and eating meals. The grandmother who taught me how to sew, cook, and clean is now unable to do any of those. But as our family has accepted and adapted to these changes, our holidays have dramatically changed as well.
On October 2nd, 2010, my grandmother had a stroke in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, all of our lives have been changed because of it. The grandmother I used to organize shoes and jewelry with is now constricted to watching television and eating meals. The grandmother who taught me how to sew, cook, and clean is now unable to do any of those. But as our family has accepted and adapted to these changes, our holidays have dramatically changed as well.
Today, upon visiting my grandmother, we faced the disappointment of the wheelchair accessible van breaking earlier this morning. This meant that my grandma, who had been planning on going home, would no longer get to spend Easter with our whole family. You see, my grandma is VERY attached to her belongings. I believe it has to do with the fact that she grew up during the Depression Era. My grandma is known among our family and even her community as having anything and everything that anyone could ever need or want.
When she found out that she would not be able to go home today, she started listing off a few things that she wanted from home (along with their EXACT location-no joke). (That stroke has not affected her mind or memory at all!) She finally said, "I just feel so alienated from my home and stuff."This quote really stuck in my mind as the day progressed. When we finally made it to my grandparents' home, I reminisced on good memories involving the kitchen, her closet, the piano, games, and the BASEMENT.
But truthfully, I feel alienated many times in my life. I try and remember that this earth and life is just my "temporary home" (thank you Carrie Underwood). I have accepted that I don't always fit in. My faith alienates me from my closet friends at school. My academic failures differentiate me from the rigor of IB. Being the youngest by far alienates me from my siblings and parents. These struggles prove that this life is not perfect. I am comforted in knowing that this is NOT my one shot at glory nor is it my eternal destination.
But more appropriately, Jesus must have felt extremely alienated on an earth of sin, death, sickness, strokes, cancer, decisions, and failure. Regardless of this, He lived, died, and lives again in our hearts and minds. It's easy for me to get depressed just thinking about all the sorrows in my life, in the lives of my friends, in the world and even in the lives of my enemies. Look at today. It was raining and storming ALL day. What could be a better example of how this world is filled with trials and tribulations that overcome me! Luckily, I have the hope and joy that Jesus has risen from the dead. He has overcome sin and sorrow and death and sickness. Daily, He helps me overcome sadness, strokes, pain, deadlines, assignments, and stresses.
“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33Happy Easter!
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