The Lower Branch

The term "Family Tree" was coined for many different reasons. 

Not only do families share resources, strengths, weaknesses, and failures together, but families are also connected by the same life-giving blood. In my family, I've always been the lower branch. Not because I'm lower than any of my siblings or cousins, but because I am the youngest kid in the generation. And until five years ago, I was the youngest in the entire family! In these past 5-6 years, my family tree has been nourished, cut down, added to, and harvested. We have experienced tough losses that have made us stronger. We gained some wonderful spouses and babies that have added joy and variety to our tree. We have experienced difficult situations (especially with my grandparents). All of these things add to the strength of each individual branch, and strength to the tree as a whole.

As my graduation is just around the corner, I can't help but think about all the graduation ceremonies I have attended. In addition to that, I have attended basketball games, choir concerts, confirmations, homecomings, high school and college graduations. All of my life, I've been looking up to see the bigger branches with many leaves of color and variety. These branches have been a great model for such an underdeveloped and young branch. 

Being the youngest, however, also has some disadvantages. If you are the youngest, you'll understand this phrase which I hear so often: "that happened before you were born". Although it isn't an offensive phrase, it makes me think of all the good times my siblings and cousins had before I was born. You see, they are all within eight years of each other-with a cousin filling in almost every gap. I am five years younger than my brother. The times before I was born hardly effect me now. But, looking towards my high school graduation, I realize that a large majority of my family will not be there. The family that had attended all of my cousins' and siblings' events will not be there to experience my events.

My grandmother is in critical health condition after a stroke and heart attack. My grandpa is fighting stage four lymphoma cancer. My brother is in Turkey for a year (or two or three) teaching at the University of Ankara. My cousin Courtney and her husband live in California. My dad's mother is facing health issues that may prevent her from coming to my graduation. My dad's sister and family live near St. Louis and will not be able to make it. My cousin Kurt and his wife Arron live in Oklahoma City. My cousin Mallory and her husband Matt live in Arkansas. Even the cousins who live in town have lives of their own and jobs that require their full attention.

I feel selfish wanting my family to interrupt their lives to be with me on my special day but I also don't want to be a lone branch, separated from it's roots. I believe that in life, you are only as powerful and knowledgeable as your resources. For me, this is mainly through my family. I am blessed with the most amazing and supported family. I know God has put me in the position as the youngest for a reason. With my grandmother's condition, I have felt like the responsibility of taking care of and entertaining her is in my hands. I am the only one who is still unattached from job or spouse commitments. Despite the responsibilities of being the youngest, I wouldn't change my life at ALL. I am so very blessed to have the life I have. 

Sometimes I need to be reminded of Matthew 6:34:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

 the newest branch on the tree :)